In a chaotic, scary, and often broken world, it’s tough to go through it without a mom still around to be that guiding light. Even as a grown woman with my own children, I will always pine for those days of waking up on Mother’s Day, hoping to make my mom feel special. That probably won’t ever go away, but when I see my children getting up with that same excitement and energy, I know how truly blessed I am, even if I have to say Happy Mother’s Day to a headstone. But that’s the thing about Mom’s. The good ones never truly leave us. They live on in their children and grandchildren as a continuous reminder that a Mom is sometimes more than just a person. Sometimes a mom is a legacy built on years of endless love and support that lives on long after they are gone. And while I can’t say I parent the exact same way my mother did (let’s face it, the 80’s and 90’s were just a different time!), I truly hope that I have taken the best parts of her guidance, patience, love, and selflessness and passed them on to my own kids.
Being without a mom on Mother’s Day makes me endlessly thankful to be surrounded by so many amazing moms from whom I draw strength daily. These women, my sisters and sister-in-laws, mother-in-law, friends, aunts, cousins, and coworkers, are all a beacon of hope and light in a world that doesn’t have enough of either. None of us are perfect. As moms, we are often so afraid of what we may be screwing up that we easily forget all things we are doing right. May we learn to take cues on our success not from what society says, but from those who know the fruits of our labor. Today we should look into our children’s eyes and see in them what they see in us. Not the sum total of all our failures, but the outright certainty of all our success! We aren’t all doing it the same and we don’t all have the same vices or virtues. But the thing that binds us together is unconditional love for the children who can sometimes stretch our patience and sanity, but for whom we’d still lay down our lives. Motherhood is also definitely a sisterhood, and I am blessed to be part of it with so many exceptional women.
So, once again I wish a Happy Mother’s Day to all the mom’s out there. No matter which one you are, and I suspect we all might be a bit of everything, I wish you all the love and support that every mom deserves today and always!
To the Perfect Mom: You exist in your own imagination and boy, are you amazing!
To the Perfectly Average Mom: You may or may not pack the perfect lunch or say the perfect thing every time, but you’re pretty sure the kids will survive just fine either way.
To the Endlessly Energetic Mom: You never met a project you didn’t volunteer for, and other moms often look at you in wonder and say, “Damn!”
To the Worrier Mom: You cringe every time your littles walk out the front door because the world is a scary place.
To the Yeller Mom: You’re seen, you’re for sure heard (especially in the summer with the windows open), and you don’t mind if people know that sometimes those kids you’d lay down your life for can be real assholes!
To the Worn Out Mom: You are tired as hell but still kill it day after day for your family because that’s just who you are and you couldn’t stop even if you tried.
To the Endlessly Patient Mom: No matter what, you always seem to have poise, grace, and understanding in any situation, and who other moms look at and say, “Ha, yeah maybe in another life I could be that amazing!”
To the Nice Mom: You don’t get angry about bad grades as long as the kids tried their best, you will help clean up messes you had no part in making, and you always understand (even if it means you have to bite your tongue clear off!).
To the Mean Mom: No one wants to be you, but let’s be honest, you are pretty much the bedrock of ordered society!
To the Judgmental Mom: Because, well, sometimes you just can’t help it!
To the Non-judgmental Mom: Because, thankfully, sometimes you see the struggle and can say, “Yep, been there!”
To the Mom Too New to Know Yet: Godspeed and God Bless on your journey to self-discovery!
Elizabeth Banak Books 