Failure is always an option

“Sorry fellas, I’m afraid you’re just too darn loud.” Band judge, Back to the Future

Any goal or dream we strive for in life incurs the possibility of failure, and that failure can come in many forms. Whether it’s that project we screwed up at work or a childhood dream we never realized, failure never feels good. It’s an all too real representation that sometimes, no matter how hard we try at life, we just aren’t good enough. At least that’s the lesson so many take from failure. We say, “I did my best”… but then you know what they say, “losers always whine about their best.” That’s undoubtedly true. And sometimes being that loser is inevitable, even if we did offer our best. 

I’ve tried for over two years to land representation with an agent to get my book published. It’s been over two years of edits, query letters, research, hope, despair, and rejection. I’ve faced the dismal odds I know exist for someone like me to make it in the publishing world, and I can say with certainty that I didn’t beat those odds. I’m not the “all it takes is one yes” success story. I’m the “this isn’t the right fit for me” or the “I’m going to pass on this, but best of luck, blah, blah, blah” story. I’ve spent years waiting for someone to see in my writing what I do, that it’s good. And that I belong there. Ultimately, I failed. It’s humbling…and maybe even embarrassing. I failed and everyone knew I was trying. 

But a funny thing happened on my road of rejection. Far from the total dejection I fearfully expected, I’ve never now been more confident in my abilities. Not because I’m a moron who can’t see the writing on the wall that all seems to be telling me the same thing, “You’re not good enough.” But because each one made me work harder, do better, learn more, and ultimately to become better at my craft than I was before I started this journey. Every single one was an opportunity to take a good long look at myself and say, “Your best isn’t good enough anymore, so what else ya got?” And what I had was resilience, perseverance, and in an unexpected twist, the confidence to not only course correct and go on, but to ultimately change course altogether. 

Because here’s the funny thing about failure… unless it sticks, it’s just another bump or detour in the road. That road may not be leading you to the place you started off wanting to go. But those detours can be just as great, if only you learn from that path behind you. Failure is only failure once you give in. Failure is only failure if it kills your determination and drive. Plowing through the failure is hard, humbling, and ultimately somewhat soul crushing. But it’s also part of every journey that’s ultimately going somewhere incredibly meaningful.

So, now, I do this my way. I go out on my own and my success or failure will be all mine, and either way, it will be one of the most exciting and meaningful experiences of my life. My writing, my hard work, my determination, and my love for my craft will drive me to the destination of a journey I’ve been on since childhood. And I’ll get there. Not because I haven’t failed, but ultimately because I have, over and over again, to bring myself to this moment in time. And I could not be more excited and more ready than ever to make my mom proud! 

It’s okay to be afraid to fail. It’s okay to have self doubt. It’s okay to have moments when you want to give up. But always keep going, even if it means you limp along for a bit. Always persevere even in the face of failure and rejection, because that’s when it means the most. That’s when it will be most rewarding, when you have to dig deep to keep moving forward, change course, and push through. Whatever the end ultimately brings, I’ll bet you won’t find yourself saying, “Hey, you know I wish I hadn’t tried so hard.” Instead you’ll be saying, “Damn, it feels good to know that I at least had the courage to try at all!”