Why are you the way that you are? – Michael Scott
What is the dumbest thing you judge other people for? Mine: people who have their windshield wipers on at a rate not commensurate with how hard it’s raining. Wtf people?! How do you handle the constant back and forth of dry, soul sucking scraping as the wipers protest furiously gliding across nearly dry glass as they squeak and streak in agony during a light drizzle and yet somehow not realize relief from the suffering is only a switch away?? I’ll never understand. There are varied settings for a reason!
But all joking aside, the point of thinking of the absolute dumbest reason to judge another person is to hit home the fact that everyone does it. It’s part of human nature. And to be honest, not all judgment is bad and we make those types of judgments every day, some to our everlasting advantage. Judgment saves lives, judgment creates well-being. Judgment means we make choices that benefit us. And yes, sometimes that judgment is about people. The point being that judging people isn’t always bad on its face. The fact isn’t that we judge others, it’s what that judgment tells us about ourselves that’s important. Judgment tells us what we value more than it tells us what we don’t value in another person.
Most people judge because it’s easy. It’s easy to form an intent without facts, it’s easy to say “oh I’d never do that!” It’s easy to claim the moral high ground when you have no idea what motivates the other side. Judgment draws a line between people of right and wrong, good and bad, virtuous or not… which are the wrong things to focus on. Your judgment might tell you about the type of people you want in your life, or a thing you’d never do that someone else did. But what it doesn’t do is reflect on the person you are judging. Our judgment only ever reflects on us. It’s what we value, where we draw a line, what we would do or not do. Sometimes that judgment may reflect well on us, and other times, maybe not so much. That’s not to say judgment without understanding is a good thing. And that’s not to say being more judgmental is a good thing. It’s to hit home the fact that there’s a time and place for judgment about people and we all know the line. But in a world where people are now judged for literally everything they do, even sometimes from years ago, now is a good time to remind ourselves that most of the old adages are still true about walking in others shoes or living in glass houses and casting stones. Not because rash judgment makes us hypocrites, but because often we don’t know what the hell we are talking about.
It’s easy to judge people as degenerate morons because they irritate us or disagree with us. In some ways, it’s therapeutic in the same way that everyone thinks they are the best driver in the world while everyone else is basically a plague on humanity behind the wheel. It’s a self-esteem booster. And especially in the age of COVID, hyper-partisan politics, and social media, it gets easier and easier to claim you have the moral high-ground, the scientific superiority, or the more virtuous heart.
It’s also easier to make a snap judgment about someone, thereby dismissing them completely, than to try to understand them. Understanding takes time. It takes communication. It takes opening your mind to the fact that there are opinions, feelings, and values other than what you may hold dear. And what’s even scarier is the prospect that you may find out you haven’t been right all along! And even if you don’t come away in agreement, because chances are you won’t, it’s still a lot harder to judge someone once you’ve understood what drives them.
So to all the degenerate windshield wiper users out there, my humblest apologies. I can’t promise you won’t annoy me next time I drive in the rain, but perhaps I’ll rethink my conclusion that the whole of your existence is measured by the timing of your wiper blades.
Elizabeth Banak Books 